Hello my friends,
I was sitting in my garden this afternoon / evening reflecting when a little bird alighted on my fence and started twittering like crazy. I looked and said "little bird, today is not a day for being chipper, today is a sad day." The little bird paid me no heed (of course) and continued chirping away with careless abandon; so much so that a little friend came to join in. Birds will be birds I suppose.
This had interrupted my sad reflections (obviously), but only to a degree. I had previously been thinking about how sad it was that my cousin had passed away in the wee hours this morning having finally succumbed to the cancer that she had been valiantly battling for the past two and a half years. Jenny was eight months younger than I am and we had spent lots of time together as kids. Our families used to spend Christmases together. As we grew older, and we moved physically apart, we didn't spend as much time together as I would have liked (for all the little reasons that life throws at you) but whenever we did see each other as adults we always got along just as we always had.
Before the birdsong, I had been feeling sorry. Sorry for her mom and dad, because it's just not right to lose a child no matter how old they are. Sorry for her husband because they had known each other longer now than they hadn't and I could only imagine how hard this was going to be for him. Sorry for her son because he is almost sixteen and that's too young to be deprived of your mom, especially one as great as Jenny.
After the birdsong though it occurred to me that one of the great things about Jenny was her attitude towards life. She was cool without trying, laid-back, smart without making a big deal about it, and funny. She took things as they came, and when bad things came she took those in stride and just dealt with them. She wasn't perfect, none of us are, but if her afternoon had been interrupted by birds she would have probably welcomed them. Jenny was given a fair number of lemons in her life and she had no problem turning those lemons into lemonade. Not that she would necessarily drink it, she would probably prefer tea, but I'm sure she gave it to someone.
When Jenny found out she had inflammatory breast cancer (IBC), she didn't just lay back and accept a death sentence: she was determined to fight as hard as she had to. And fight she did. It wasn't easy, but she didn't give up because it wasn't in her nature. The problem with IBC is that it's not usually detectable until it's already spread to your lymph nodes.
Jenny was beautiful inside and out. I will miss her very much, but I will always remember her as one of the most positive people I know.
So, I'm still sad, but not quite as much. Remembering Jenny (her laugh especially) cheered me up a little.
Thanks for tuning in peeps! Drive safe and remember to call your loved ones when you can.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Friday, March 09, 2012
International Women's Day 2012
Hello My Friends,
It's been too long. I hope all is well in your worlds.
I know that International Women's Day was yesterday, but I was still thinking about what I should write then so I'm posting this a little late this year. I'm not really going to get on a soapbox this time (at least not too big a soapbox) because I don't think there's any point in re-hashing the same kind of stuff we've talked about in the recent past. I am however going to ask a question that was asked last year and more than once again on March 8th: Do we still need an International Women's Day?
Some people say yes, others say no.
I say yes, but I'm always open to other opinions so when people scoff and say things like 'when are we going to have an International Men's Day?' I listen to them. And I think about why they might be asking this. And I think about why they might think we don't need an International Women's Day anymore.
Obviously these are people who live in North America so there's that: women here legally have equal rights. We do get to vote and own land and more of us get post-secondary educations than men these days. We can also (kind of) support ourselves; at least some of us can. We still get paid a lot less (29% less by most accounts), but the scoffers have rationalizations for that: women are typically the lower earners in 'traditional nuclear' families so when someone has to take time off for childcare, it makes more fiscal sense for the woman to do so. Extrapolate that, and since women take time off to actually have children and nurture them, it stands to reason that we're not as solid an investment as men because we could get pregnant or have a sick child at any time. [Sarcasm - just in case you didn't notice.]
Regardless of the pay issue, why else might we still need an International Women's day? Well, the obvious answer is that not all women have equal rights. There are many places in the world where women can't vote and they can't own property. And frankly, those are the least of their worries. This post is not about atrocities, but if you've ever read any of my previous posts, you are probably aware of some of them. There are women and girls all over the world who live in fear every day simply because of the fact that they are female.
Another troubling issue: there are many places in the world where selective abortion is being practiced to the extent that it is changing the societal makeup of the country so that more boy babies are being born. If you extrapolate that, where is that going to leave the young women in 13 - 18 years? I'll let you think about that one. If abortion based on the gender of your fetus isn't sexist, I don't know what is.
Ergo, I think I'm going to stick with my opinion that we still need an International Women's Day; at least internationally. The fact that something isn't happening in your backyard doesn't mean it's not happening at all.
So let's turn our attention back to the west: a bit more of a conundrum here because of the whole having the same legal rights thing. So I'm going to ask some more questions (because I'm in a questioning mood) to which I don't have easy answers; maybe some of you will.
How many women do you know who have ever, in any way, experienced some form of physical abuse from a partner? How many do you think have but wouldn't admit it? Now ask yourself how many men?
How many times have you heard men jokingly complain that women 'travel in packs' when they're out at night so that it's difficult to approach just one? And how many men know that we 'travel in packs' for safety? We wouldn't do this if we weren't afraid. How many men do you think travel in packs for safety? How many do you think promise each other not to leave without any of the rest? We do this because we're afraid of being raped and/or killed, and then sometimes blamed for it because we were drunk or dressed provocatively.
We don't talk about it, we don't say it out loud, we just know it. We're all trained from a young age not to get in a car with a stranger offering us candy, and we're all trained not to put ourselves in situations where we'll be at greater risk.
Too extreme you say? Perhaps, but perhaps not.
If you're a woman you know exactly what I'm talking about. We live in a world where we have to take precautions because even though no one says it out loud, we live in fear. People will scoff at this and say 'everyone has to take precautions, that's just common sense.' But do my brothers who are at least six inches taller and about 100 pounds heavier than I am have to take the same precautions I do? No. They never have and I doubt they ever will.
I'm not suggesting that men don't also have fears, and that some men may also live in the same type of fear that we do, but not the majority of them, and not all the time.
So I say we will need an International Women's Day until self-determination is no longer in question and we no longer live in fear. Any of us.
Thanks for tuning in. Drive safe!
Lesle
It's been too long. I hope all is well in your worlds.
I know that International Women's Day was yesterday, but I was still thinking about what I should write then so I'm posting this a little late this year. I'm not really going to get on a soapbox this time (at least not too big a soapbox) because I don't think there's any point in re-hashing the same kind of stuff we've talked about in the recent past. I am however going to ask a question that was asked last year and more than once again on March 8th: Do we still need an International Women's Day?
Some people say yes, others say no.
I say yes, but I'm always open to other opinions so when people scoff and say things like 'when are we going to have an International Men's Day?' I listen to them. And I think about why they might be asking this. And I think about why they might think we don't need an International Women's Day anymore.
Obviously these are people who live in North America so there's that: women here legally have equal rights. We do get to vote and own land and more of us get post-secondary educations than men these days. We can also (kind of) support ourselves; at least some of us can. We still get paid a lot less (29% less by most accounts), but the scoffers have rationalizations for that: women are typically the lower earners in 'traditional nuclear' families so when someone has to take time off for childcare, it makes more fiscal sense for the woman to do so. Extrapolate that, and since women take time off to actually have children and nurture them, it stands to reason that we're not as solid an investment as men because we could get pregnant or have a sick child at any time. [Sarcasm - just in case you didn't notice.]
Regardless of the pay issue, why else might we still need an International Women's day? Well, the obvious answer is that not all women have equal rights. There are many places in the world where women can't vote and they can't own property. And frankly, those are the least of their worries. This post is not about atrocities, but if you've ever read any of my previous posts, you are probably aware of some of them. There are women and girls all over the world who live in fear every day simply because of the fact that they are female.
Another troubling issue: there are many places in the world where selective abortion is being practiced to the extent that it is changing the societal makeup of the country so that more boy babies are being born. If you extrapolate that, where is that going to leave the young women in 13 - 18 years? I'll let you think about that one. If abortion based on the gender of your fetus isn't sexist, I don't know what is.
Ergo, I think I'm going to stick with my opinion that we still need an International Women's Day; at least internationally. The fact that something isn't happening in your backyard doesn't mean it's not happening at all.
So let's turn our attention back to the west: a bit more of a conundrum here because of the whole having the same legal rights thing. So I'm going to ask some more questions (because I'm in a questioning mood) to which I don't have easy answers; maybe some of you will.
How many women do you know who have ever, in any way, experienced some form of physical abuse from a partner? How many do you think have but wouldn't admit it? Now ask yourself how many men?
How many times have you heard men jokingly complain that women 'travel in packs' when they're out at night so that it's difficult to approach just one? And how many men know that we 'travel in packs' for safety? We wouldn't do this if we weren't afraid. How many men do you think travel in packs for safety? How many do you think promise each other not to leave without any of the rest? We do this because we're afraid of being raped and/or killed, and then sometimes blamed for it because we were drunk or dressed provocatively.
We don't talk about it, we don't say it out loud, we just know it. We're all trained from a young age not to get in a car with a stranger offering us candy, and we're all trained not to put ourselves in situations where we'll be at greater risk.
Too extreme you say? Perhaps, but perhaps not.
If you're a woman you know exactly what I'm talking about. We live in a world where we have to take precautions because even though no one says it out loud, we live in fear. People will scoff at this and say 'everyone has to take precautions, that's just common sense.' But do my brothers who are at least six inches taller and about 100 pounds heavier than I am have to take the same precautions I do? No. They never have and I doubt they ever will.
I'm not suggesting that men don't also have fears, and that some men may also live in the same type of fear that we do, but not the majority of them, and not all the time.
So I say we will need an International Women's Day until self-determination is no longer in question and we no longer live in fear. Any of us.
Thanks for tuning in. Drive safe!
Lesle
Thursday, April 28, 2011
GSAs Part Deux
Hello my peeps!
In the interest of closure, I thought I should write a little post letting everyone know that the Ontario Catholic school trustees have changed their collective mind - a little - and decided to allow clubs in Catholic schools (not gay-straight alliances) which are focused on helping students who are bullied because they are gay. Here is the Toronto Star's article on the story.
Yay! It may seem like a small victory, but it's still nice to celebrate.
Peace out peeps, and don't forget to vote on Monday!
In the interest of closure, I thought I should write a little post letting everyone know that the Ontario Catholic school trustees have changed their collective mind - a little - and decided to allow clubs in Catholic schools (not gay-straight alliances) which are focused on helping students who are bullied because they are gay. Here is the Toronto Star's article on the story.
Yay! It may seem like a small victory, but it's still nice to celebrate.
Peace out peeps, and don't forget to vote on Monday!
Friday, April 22, 2011
Mobbing the Vote
Happy Easter Everybody!
I guess it's about time that I posted a little bit about our current election. I just haven't been inspired to this time; until now.
There really hasn't been much of a campaign in my opinion. It seems to me to be mostly a scare campaign with each major party trying to scare you out of voting for the other. Perhaps I've missed the boat, but all the ads and all the headlines seem to be more about the same old stuff: Harper's evil (which of course we know is true, you can see it in his eyes) and wants to kill healthcare, Ignatieff is not really Canadian because he spent too long away from Canada (in the States and England) and only came back to be Prime Minister, and Layton is all about the 'ordinary' Canadians ('cuz anyone who has a post secondary education or is middle-class doesn't really count).
If you actually go to the Liberal and NDP sites and read their platforms they have some interesting stuff that isn't negative about the other guys (not a casual use of the word). Iggy wants to help us with childcare and education. They both want to help with job creation and healthcare. I'm not going to reprint their entire platforms for you, but you can follow the links if you're interested. If you go to the Conservative site, the first thing you see is a negative blurb about one of the other leaders. Nice.
Regardless, I'm pretty tired of hearing negative advertising myself. They all do it and they're all acting like children in my opinion. If they can't get elected on their own merits, then they're clearly not worthy of election. However I know that politics is all about the negative advertising now because that's what we respond to apparently. What does that say about us, the electorate? I don't think it says anything good.
It's a shame that the only candidates we have to choose from are name-calling, power-hungry adolescents who don't seem to have our best interests in mind. If they really did, they wouldn't behave the way they do. They would actually accomplish things when they got elected. They would try to work together despite their differences for the benefit of the people (you know, the people for whom they work). It's clear that our system has broken down to the point where those who have either been elected to or who work for the government in the bureaucracy have forgotten that they are supposed to be working for the people. It should be viewed as a privilege to serve in public office, but instead it seems from the actions of those who are currently elected officials that the prevailing attitude is rather one of entitlement to rule and behave badly - and not be held accountable.
Our elected officials in Ottawa do not believe that their spending of public money should be subject to audit. They expect to have their cake and eat it too. And we let them.
So the original point of this post was about a relatively new phenomenon: vote mobs. In case you don't know what one is here's a link to an article about the first ever. Ah, to be young again! These are happening all over the country and I say good on 'em! They're good clean fun and they get the message out: go vote!
Today's particular post was inspired by a different kind of article though. Not surprisingly it was a negative article by a former Stephen Harper lackey who thinks that vote mobs are bad. Why? Because it would be just awful to have a bunch of uninformed kids running around exercising their rights and making decisions regarding who should run our country. Umm, okay (that's sarcasm just in case it didn't translate well).
I guess we should start giving every person who votes a test before they do so to ensure that they know why they're voting for the candidates they're choosing. Perhaps we should start verifying education documents as well. We wouldn't want people of any age really who are uninformed making decisions about important things. Maybe we should just take the decision-making out of the hands of the people altogether because really, they can't be trusted to make the right decisions: they don't have all the relevant facts. (Again with the sarcasm, sorry, I just can't help myself.)
Obviously I think vote mobs are a good thing. They look fun, they seem harmless and they're inspiring. If even half of those people vote, then that's fabulous as far as I'm concerned. Sorry if my little rant was a little meander-y, but that's just how I'm rolling today.
Have a good long weekend and drive safe! Peace out!
I guess it's about time that I posted a little bit about our current election. I just haven't been inspired to this time; until now.
There really hasn't been much of a campaign in my opinion. It seems to me to be mostly a scare campaign with each major party trying to scare you out of voting for the other. Perhaps I've missed the boat, but all the ads and all the headlines seem to be more about the same old stuff: Harper's evil (which of course we know is true, you can see it in his eyes) and wants to kill healthcare, Ignatieff is not really Canadian because he spent too long away from Canada (in the States and England) and only came back to be Prime Minister, and Layton is all about the 'ordinary' Canadians ('cuz anyone who has a post secondary education or is middle-class doesn't really count).
If you actually go to the Liberal and NDP sites and read their platforms they have some interesting stuff that isn't negative about the other guys (not a casual use of the word). Iggy wants to help us with childcare and education. They both want to help with job creation and healthcare. I'm not going to reprint their entire platforms for you, but you can follow the links if you're interested. If you go to the Conservative site, the first thing you see is a negative blurb about one of the other leaders. Nice.
Regardless, I'm pretty tired of hearing negative advertising myself. They all do it and they're all acting like children in my opinion. If they can't get elected on their own merits, then they're clearly not worthy of election. However I know that politics is all about the negative advertising now because that's what we respond to apparently. What does that say about us, the electorate? I don't think it says anything good.
It's a shame that the only candidates we have to choose from are name-calling, power-hungry adolescents who don't seem to have our best interests in mind. If they really did, they wouldn't behave the way they do. They would actually accomplish things when they got elected. They would try to work together despite their differences for the benefit of the people (you know, the people for whom they work). It's clear that our system has broken down to the point where those who have either been elected to or who work for the government in the bureaucracy have forgotten that they are supposed to be working for the people. It should be viewed as a privilege to serve in public office, but instead it seems from the actions of those who are currently elected officials that the prevailing attitude is rather one of entitlement to rule and behave badly - and not be held accountable.
Our elected officials in Ottawa do not believe that their spending of public money should be subject to audit. They expect to have their cake and eat it too. And we let them.
So the original point of this post was about a relatively new phenomenon: vote mobs. In case you don't know what one is here's a link to an article about the first ever. Ah, to be young again! These are happening all over the country and I say good on 'em! They're good clean fun and they get the message out: go vote!
Today's particular post was inspired by a different kind of article though. Not surprisingly it was a negative article by a former Stephen Harper lackey who thinks that vote mobs are bad. Why? Because it would be just awful to have a bunch of uninformed kids running around exercising their rights and making decisions regarding who should run our country. Umm, okay (that's sarcasm just in case it didn't translate well).
I guess we should start giving every person who votes a test before they do so to ensure that they know why they're voting for the candidates they're choosing. Perhaps we should start verifying education documents as well. We wouldn't want people of any age really who are uninformed making decisions about important things. Maybe we should just take the decision-making out of the hands of the people altogether because really, they can't be trusted to make the right decisions: they don't have all the relevant facts. (Again with the sarcasm, sorry, I just can't help myself.)
Obviously I think vote mobs are a good thing. They look fun, they seem harmless and they're inspiring. If even half of those people vote, then that's fabulous as far as I'm concerned. Sorry if my little rant was a little meander-y, but that's just how I'm rolling today.
Have a good long weekend and drive safe! Peace out!
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Catholic Schools Ban GSAs? That's a Shocker!
Greetings my Friends,
I hope all is well with you on this sunny (in the GTA anyway) Sunday.
Today's little story came to me through an email from a friend of mine who is, understandably, alarmed at this news. His email didn't contain the actual story but I have great faith in him. Most of you don't know him so I'm including a link the The Globe's story.
If you don't want to jump to the Globe, I'll sum up: St Joseph's Catholic Secondary in Mississauga has decided not to allow students to form a Gay-Straight Alliance. This is not terribly surprising to me. It is a Catholic school.
PLEASE DO NOT THINK THAT I AM CONDONING OR AGREEING WITH THE DECISION. I am simply not surprised. I was raised as a Catholic and anyone who follows the goings-on in the Vatican should know that the Papacy officially frowns on homosexual behaviour. (I'm not even going to start on priests.) The Catholic Church frowns on any type of sexual behaviour outside of marriage too (marriage being defined as the union between a man and a woman), and even within a marriage it really should only be for the sake of procreation. Seriously.
So, having said that, let's look at what institution is making this decision. An aging, fearful, corrupt one. I'm not suggesting that each and every Catholic is old, scared and corrupt/evil. I'm talking high-level.
I am not and have never been a Church-basher. The Catholic Church has been responsible for a lot of good in the course of modern history. They educated and nursed the poor (in droves); they provided light where there was only dark for many. They helped untold numbers of people. They gave me a good education and I never once was abused (neither were my brothers). However, they have also been responsible for their share of bad. I'm sure I don't need to go into it, but I think the biggest mistake the Church is making is not evolving.
Things which don't change die. The Church refuses to accept that the world and the people in it are not the same as we were 2,000 years ago. We are not afraid of the dark anymore. A growing number of us do not even believe in their God and thus we cannot be cowed into obediance with threats of everlasting hell.
There have been gay people as long as there have been people: that hasn't changed. What has changed is society's acceptance of difference. I'm not gay, but my friend who sent me the email offers this:
Perhaps I'm a little too jaded sometimes, but part of me thinks, is anyone really surprised by this school's decision? It's the second recently. The Halton District Catholic School Board had it's similar decision overturned (and I assume the same will happen here). Perhaps we shouldn't be sending our kids to Catholic schools if we don't want them to be excluded.
Perhaps most important to remember: the Catholic schools in Ontario are no longer separate. They are entirely funded by public money now. As far as I'm concerned, that's all that matters. These are not Catholic schools any more, these are public schools that teach the Catholic religion. Of course, either way, individuals should not have to feel invisible or excluded. Either way, all kids should feel that they have a voice and a safe place at school.
That's all I've got for now peeps!
Peace out,
I hope all is well with you on this sunny (in the GTA anyway) Sunday.
Today's little story came to me through an email from a friend of mine who is, understandably, alarmed at this news. His email didn't contain the actual story but I have great faith in him. Most of you don't know him so I'm including a link the The Globe's story.
If you don't want to jump to the Globe, I'll sum up: St Joseph's Catholic Secondary in Mississauga has decided not to allow students to form a Gay-Straight Alliance. This is not terribly surprising to me. It is a Catholic school.
PLEASE DO NOT THINK THAT I AM CONDONING OR AGREEING WITH THE DECISION. I am simply not surprised. I was raised as a Catholic and anyone who follows the goings-on in the Vatican should know that the Papacy officially frowns on homosexual behaviour. (I'm not even going to start on priests.) The Catholic Church frowns on any type of sexual behaviour outside of marriage too (marriage being defined as the union between a man and a woman), and even within a marriage it really should only be for the sake of procreation. Seriously.
So, having said that, let's look at what institution is making this decision. An aging, fearful, corrupt one. I'm not suggesting that each and every Catholic is old, scared and corrupt/evil. I'm talking high-level.
I am not and have never been a Church-basher. The Catholic Church has been responsible for a lot of good in the course of modern history. They educated and nursed the poor (in droves); they provided light where there was only dark for many. They helped untold numbers of people. They gave me a good education and I never once was abused (neither were my brothers). However, they have also been responsible for their share of bad. I'm sure I don't need to go into it, but I think the biggest mistake the Church is making is not evolving.
Things which don't change die. The Church refuses to accept that the world and the people in it are not the same as we were 2,000 years ago. We are not afraid of the dark anymore. A growing number of us do not even believe in their God and thus we cannot be cowed into obediance with threats of everlasting hell.
There have been gay people as long as there have been people: that hasn't changed. What has changed is society's acceptance of difference. I'm not gay, but my friend who sent me the email offers this:
Growing up gay in suburban Toronto during the nineties was not easy. Feeling different from a young age, and hitting puberty with an attraction to the same-sex, I realized very quickly my environment was not friendly towards such feelings.
My attempts to suppress my attraction, and fit in, led to a major depression in my early teens, with self-destructive behaviours that were all-consuming.
The only support groups for gay teens were in downtown Toronto at the time, and accessing these supports was difficult for a north of Steeles Avenue teenager on a school-night. It involved making up stories about where I disappeared to every Tuesday night, and feeling there was no space for gay teenagers in the suburbs.
I was lucky enough to meet other gay, lesbian and bisexual students in my Thornhill public high school, and together we started York Region’s first LGBTQ support group in Richmond Hill , open to all youth living in York Region. With the support of the York Region Public Health Department, we secured a space, and were happy to see large numbers of youth attend these meetings, finding a place to grow their self-esteem and realize they were not alone. This group became very meaningful for me, and for many other youth who were struggling with isolation.
Perhaps I'm a little too jaded sometimes, but part of me thinks, is anyone really surprised by this school's decision? It's the second recently. The Halton District Catholic School Board had it's similar decision overturned (and I assume the same will happen here). Perhaps we shouldn't be sending our kids to Catholic schools if we don't want them to be excluded.
Perhaps most important to remember: the Catholic schools in Ontario are no longer separate. They are entirely funded by public money now. As far as I'm concerned, that's all that matters. These are not Catholic schools any more, these are public schools that teach the Catholic religion. Of course, either way, individuals should not have to feel invisible or excluded. Either way, all kids should feel that they have a voice and a safe place at school.
That's all I've got for now peeps!
Peace out,
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)