What's Happening to our Little Girls?

Hello peoples,

I was sitting in a waiting room again the other day so I picked up a Maclean's that I hadn't read. It was old(ish); I think it was from January. The letters section had several letters from readers about an article in a previous issue on how we're dressing our daughters. They made me want to read the article, but that issue wasn't there and I had to go, so I looked it up online and found it here.

It's a little long, but the essence of it was that we're dressing our daughters like little tarts and the author of the article was investigating the possible reasons as to why. She covered most of the common answers: girls are hitting puberty earlier, they are trying to emulate older girls, girls and young women have become one of the most targeted demographics for marketers, and my personal fave "everyone else is wearing it".

I will grant you that girls are reaching puberty at earlier ages on average now than we did when I was a pre-teen. I will also grant that little girls have always looked up to and wanted to imitate the older girls in their lives, this is not new. However, the next two reasons don't really hold water for me. Since when do we buy kids things they don't need just because someone has introduced them to the market? Further, I don't know about you, but when I was a kid if someone said to my mom "everyone else is doing it", her usual response was "if everyone else decides to jump off a bridge are you going to do that too?"

The article mentions that one company introduced a line of thongs for little girls 'because little girls worry about visible panty lines too'. The only reason a child would possibly care about this is if we told her to. There is no reason to even mention something like that to a child, and even if she has visible panty lines, that's okay. She's a child: she should be wearing underwear! With the days of the week, or superheros or flowers or something on them! Not things like 'juicey' or 'sweetcheeks'.

Another argument for allowing your daughter to dress like a skank is that parents don't want their daughters to not fit in with her peers and what with all of the pressures of life, sometimes it's just easier to give in. Well, I admit, I am not a parent, so this is a little bit like a priest giving marital advice, but I'm going to anyway. As soon as you let your children pressure you into making decisions you don't want to make just because you're tired or stressed out, you've lost control and you will never get it back. What kind of a lesson are you teaching your daughter with behaviour like that?

Or, you just don't care all that much and are just using that explanation as an excuse. Which is entirely possible. There are many many young women today leaving nothing to the imagination and they think they're sexy. They dress like that on purpose. Perhaps they think it's cute to dress their 6 year old just like mommy.

For the record, these clothes are not practical. Plastic heels for toddlers are counterproductive to their proper spinal development. Plus, they could hurt themselves. Tank tops? On a child? Low rise jeans? Toddlers and little girls typically do not have hips to hold them up and thus, they slip down. Belly tops? Mini skirts? You really can't do much in a mini skirt.

One of the biggest obstacles we have to overcome as a society before women and men are really equals is the sexual exploitation of women. One of the more insidious aspects of our sexual oppression is that it is so ingrained in society that most of us (women included) don't even question it. We think that because women can 'choose' or we can say 'no' that we are now equals. We think that pornography is okay because the women participating aren't being forced. This is simply not true. I am not going to digress into a rant against the pornography industry right now, but this is where it begins. With little girls. And they keep getting younger and younger.

Why are we dressing our little girls like tarts? If it's not sexual exploitation, then what is it?

Drive safe peeps, (and put a sweater on your kid!)

In Memory of My Grandmother

Hello Peoples,

This one might not be the funniest post I've ever made. It's never easy to break news like this, so I'll just say it: my grandmother passed away last night. She was 91. Her heart stopped (it was just worn out). This was neither a tragic nor an unexpected event, but I am still sad. I will miss her. I saw her at least once a week. We both used to live in the same house. Even when we lived in Vancouver and she lived in Toronto, she would come and stay with us for a while every winter. We were very close. She was my mother's mother. I was her only daughter's only daughter.

I spent hours last night trying to come up with a fitting tribute to my grandma and I just couldn't. I couldn't find the words to start. Too many memories were competing for attention in my head. I also couldn't find a digital image of her (I've only had a digital camera since June) so I'm not able to post her picture.

So, after nearly 24 hours, I've had time to think and I've decided to just tell you who my grandma was to me.

My grandmother, Annie Josephine McGilly, was the first seriously independent woman I knew. My grandfather died in 1966 (before I was born) and she never considered remarrying. She was single for the last 40 years of her life. When I first got to know her, she was living in a one bedroom apartment in downtown Toronto. She worked full time and took care of herself. She never learned to drive, she liked being driven around and took taxis a lot. Whenever she showed up for a visit, she always took us shopping. My grandma taught me how to shop. She was also a little bit stubborn, and so taught me (after a while) about patience. My grandmother was the first person I knew who had a bank card. She arrived from Toronto once with it and hadn't used it yet, so we walked down to the CIBC on the corner and figured it out.

Despite having been born in 1915, she was rather progressive in many ways. She was closer to being a feminist than many women I've met. She also taught me that you don't have to disrepect men in order to respect women. She never said anything like that, it was in her actions. She was brave (moved her family to Canada from Glasgow) and bossy (it was her decision) but also compassionate. When people needed help, she helped them. When one of her in-laws was shunned by the family for marrying a Protestant (huge scandal at the time in Scotland, good Catholics didn't do that), she took them in and helped them get started. She was a bit of a drama queen at times, but she was the baby of her family (the youngest of nine) and had been spoiled so that's to be expected. She was direct and had no qualms about asking people personal questions. And, for some reason, they usually answered them. Her advice to me was always to be true to myself and not make choices that other people wanted me to make just to make them happy.

Grandma experienced loss. She lost her parents when she was still a teenager. She lost her husband, she lost a son and she outlived all of her siblings. She outlived many of her friends and family (her generation). And even though she grieved, she never let go of life. She did not let the grief take over. Grandma was essentially a happy person who enjoyed life as much as she could and didn't really complain when she started to lose her physical abilities. She just accepted aging and failing health as part of life and didn't try to fight it, even though it meant that she could no longer do some things (like read, knit etc). I think her faith helped her through all her loss.

Grandma liked to party; especially if there was singing involved. I think one of her favourite days ever was on the day of her 90th birthday party. There were close to a hundred people there and she couldn't have been happier (she got to sing). She was proud of her family and what we'd all accomplished. She was glad she had lived long enough to meet her great-grandchildren. Grandma was kind and generous (she believed that since you can't take it with you, you should help people around you when you're still alive) and even mischevious. Many times we were co-conspirators with secrets for gifts that she couldn't get out to get, so I would procure them for her. She always had a certain twinkle in her eye when she was cooking up a plan. She often asked if we needed money, and before she became diabetic, she always asked if I had a 'wee bar of chocolate' in my purse whenever I got home. I usually did.

I'm not sad for Grandma, she was in a fair amount of pain on a regular basis by the time she passed. Her quality of life had deteriorated a lot in the past six months. I'm sad for me. I miss her, and I will probably continue to miss her.

Sorry for the melancholia folks, but this is a big event in my life. I had to write about it.

Keep safe peeps,