Mad Woman?

Hello all,

I hope you are all well as summer begins to wind down. Our summer here in the Greater Toronto Area (GTA) has been HOT HOT HOT. I don't remember the last time we had one this hot. No complaints from me, but my electricity bill was a lot higher for this summer than last, and I imagine mine was not the only one.

Anyhoo, on to my post, which I'm sure you're all eager to read! ;)

I've been talking to people lately about the tv show 'Mad Men' and why I don't like it. The people I've been talking to have all been men. They all like the show. In case any of you, my faithful readers, don't know what the show is about:

Set in 1960s New York, the sexy, stylized and provocative AMC drama Mad Men follows the lives of the ruthlessly competitive men and women of Madison Avenue advertising, an ego-driven world where key players make an art of the sell.

That quote is from the AMC (the show's producer) website.

So what's up with me? It's an award-winning show. People seem to love it. It's character driven, it's got snappy dialogue and fabulous wardrobe; and I'm seriously into clothing as those of you who know me know. For years I've been lamenting the fact that people don't know how to dress for work anymore. But I digress.

One of the men I talked to said he thought guys liked the show because it allowed them to revel in a time when men could be men and not have to apologize for their behaviour. My response: Excuse me? Answer: You know, we didn't have to worry about being politically correct and stuff. This conversation can be summed up thusly: He suggested that men enjoyed the show because it was set in a time when men could be as sexist, racist and bigoted as they were naturally inclined to be and didn't have to worry about the repercussions. After a little discussion (read grilling, and I admit that my discussions on topics like this may seem a little like grilling when speaking with someone with this kind of belief) he protested that this was not his opinion, just what he imagined others' opinions are. Right.

Okay, this I get: if you're sexist, racist and/or bigoted, and still wish that white men were as dominant and oppressive as they were fifty years ago, I can completely understand why you would enjoy this show.

Another guy I spoke with told me I was reading too much into it. It's just a show. He doesn't think about it at all and I shouldn't worry about. I shouldn't worry about the rampant misogyny? Nope. It's just a show. Get over it. Move on. This conversation isn't worth having. Okay then. I'll move on.

The last guy I talked to about this show is someone I consider to be not only very liberated but also an entertainment connoisseur. When he asked why I dislike the show I told him I was uncomfortable with how misogynistic it is. During our conversation he pointed out that the show took place during a time when that was the norm and that the show's protagonists were not depicted as heroes, rather they were shown as anti-heroes and that the misogyny was not glamourized but highlighted as something negative. He enjoys the show for the story lines, characters, etc. not for the wistful harkening back to 'better times'. He also pointed out that I sounded a little harsh when talking about it. Okay, maybe I am a little; or maybe a lot. He asked why I was so upset about this particular show when almost anything historical would contain some form of oppression. This is true.

So I've been thinking about this and I've decided I just can't stomach it. Perhaps this show is worst because it's so good; because it's so believable. Perhaps it's because I don't have to suspend any disbelief: I believe in these scenarios; these things could have happened. It's similar to why I don't find slasher movies scary but Silence of the Lambs scared the heck out of me: slasher movies are completely fabricated, but serial killers with anti-social personalities exist.

So I admit it it's me. I don't enjoy watching it. I prefer my entertainment to be fun, or intellectual or something that doesn't make me feel bad. Don't get me wrong: I'm not suggesting that I'm a 'bury my head in the sand and forget about what women have had to go through to get where we are today type of person'. I'm just saying that when I watch t.v. it's because I don't want to think, I just want to enjoy myself and I can't enjoy myself if I'm feeling bad. I'm glad society has changed and I don't really have to deal with treatment like that on a regular basis. Obviously, we're still not equals and sexism still exists. Racism and bigotry of all kinds still exist too, but I think society is moving forward and I am happy that some people are watching what they say and do. Not enough mind you, but at least people are trying and I give them kudos for that.

I look forward to a time when people don't have to worry about political correctness anymore because they won't even be thinking that way. People will have come to the realization that people are people and while different, equal. I'm not naive enough to believe that will happen in my lifetime, but I believe it will happen someday. Maybe then people will watch something like 'Mad Men' and marvel at how pre-historic the people in the twentieth century were.

Until then, be good and drive safe peeps!

The New 'V' Word?

Good Morning,

I hope you are all well, and again, thanks for reading!

I was rifling through my paper (the Toronto Star, Canada's most read newspaper) this morning to find the Sudoku puzzle, which happened to be in the Living section, when I saw the headline above on the front page of that section. The picture accompanying the story took up most of the space on the page and even went below the fold. The V was red and huge. I don't think it could have been any more conspicuous.

So, for those of you who might not know what the new v word is, it's 'va-jay-jay'. No, I'm not kidding. (It can also be spelled vajayjay apparently.) The orignial V word, VAGINA, the one that people don't like to use in 'polite' conversation, the one that Eve Ensler has worked so hard to make a household word, is apparently being replaced with a comical word.

This, apparently is not news to many people who watch TV. It is to me. I don't watch Oprah and I don't watch Grey's Anatomy. The first time I heard the word was early this spring when I was cottaging and I thought it was a kind of funny word that someone not comfortable with VAGINA had invented for her kids. You know, like pee-pee or tushie or yoo-hoo.

I'm pretty sure that those of you who know me, will know how I feel about this. If you're afraid of saying something, then you're clearly not comfortable with it, and if you're not comfortable with your own body and can't teach your kids to be comfortable with their bodies, then it will be difficult for them to ever be truly comfortable with another person, and people of the opposite sex will always be 'other'. This may seem like a small thing, but this is exactly how we socialize our children into believing that anything having to do with 'their private parts' aka their genitalia is not something that we should discuss. It's not something that we should talk about openly and we certainly shouldn't talk about it with the people we are supposed to be able to go to for anything; the people we should be able to trust most to be honest and helpful. You know; our parents. And if we can't discuss something with our parents, then it must be bad; or wrong, or dirty or whatever.

Having re-iterated stuff that most of my peers should already know, I'm going back to Oprah and Grey's Anatomy. It doesn't really matter where the word originated. Oprah, apparently, uses it quite frequently. So does Grey's Anatomy. A spokesperson for Grey's Anatomy said (when interviewed) that they had been told that they had used the word vagina too many times in one episode and were asked to try to find another word. That same person also pointed out that the word penis had been used several more times in that same episode, but no one had commented on that.

My main complaint with the new V word is that it's comical and childish. It really sounded to me like something a child had said because she or he couldn't pronounce vagina correctly the first time she tried. Kids mess up words all the time when they're learning.

If it's a three year old and you laugh a little but gently correct her the next time, she will eventually start to pronounce the word correctly. However, if it's Oprah Winfrey and she's shouting it out to millions of viewers in North America every day, are we ever going to get our daughters to be comfortable with themselves if they can't even talk about their bodies unless they make it comical or laughable? Oprah clearly has much power over North American women; young and old. She wields a mighty hammer, and if she says something is good, it is. She is a powerful, intelligent woman in a position to sway public opinion. I wonder if she's aware of the effect she's having on decades of effort put forth by women to be treated as equals as opposed to indentured servants responsible for housekeeping, childrearing and sex.

Call me Chicken Little if you like. I don't mind.

The other side to this (for people slightly less reactive than I), is that perhaps the comical word will be a little easier for some women to say. Perhaps asking some women to say vagina is just a little too extreme for their sensibilities, but they may be able to manage va-jay-jay. In this case, at least they are using some form of the word that other women would understand, and those of us who are not extremists, may understand that this is as far as those women can go. It would be a step in the right direction I suppose. A small step, but at least a step.

That's my rant for today folks, thanks for coming out!!

Drive safe peeps,

George Stroumboulopoulos Plays Softball with Belinda

Greetings Good People,

I know, it's been a while, but you know me... I've been busy getting lost in the dark. So, I apologize and I would sincerely appreciate your forgiveness.

Moving on... CBC's The Hour with George Stroumboulopoulos began its new season last week (how very exciting!) and like a good little Canadian, I've been watching it. Partly because it's Canadian, and partly because George amuses me; he makes me smile and frankly, I can use all the help I can get these days climbing back up out of the dark place. But I digress.

One of his first guests was Belinda Stronach and he did bring up the Tie Domi affair, but he let her off easily. She practically admitted it and he just let the statement float by without pouncing on it (la la la... I'm not listening). If you want to watch the whole interview, you can view it here:

http://www.cbc.ca/thehour/video.php?id=1075

One of the points George made is that everyone is concerned about her personal life (i.e. whom she's dating) because she's a woman. However, I think that's wrong. He mentioned the next day after receiving email about it that he wasn't going to ask because he wouldn't ask a man. Well, isn't that nice and polite of him? I guess that's why we all love him so much. How very Canadian.

However, as a woman, I'd like to know why he didn't ask her why she thinks it's okay to commit adultery. I am nowhere near being a Conservative, nor am I a member of the religious right, but seriously folks: she practically admitted to being an adulterer on national television and George let it go. Yes, I know it happens all the time, and I know that you shouldn't judge someone until you've walked a day in her shoes, but she is one of the most powerful women in Canada and is supposed to be a role model for young women. What kind of a message is she sending? I seriously don't care about whom Belinda is dating, but could she not wait to go out in public with him until the separation papers were filed? Yes, I am holding her to a higher standard. It may seem unfair, but that's part of what you get when you sign up for the job. She is an elected official. I think George was going easy on her specifically because she is a woman and a newbie at politics. She's not ready for prime time and he knew it. Doesn't he realize that it's more insulting to treat someone with kid gloves than it is to give them a place at the grown-ups' table and let them take their lumps like everyone else? Maybe Belinda doesn't mind being babied because she's a woman and a newbie, but it bothers me. And yes, I would feel the same way about a single male politician committing adultery and admitting to it on national television.

Aside from the whole role model aspect, it bothers me that Belinda is a cheater. She broke the code. It's one of those unwritten female rules: you don't cheat with someone else's guy, even if you don't like her. You wouldn't want it to happen to you. If he wants you enough, he should break up with her first; if he doesn't then he's not worth it. Because if he's willing to cheat on her, then he's willing to cheat on you. I used to respect Belinda; I don't anymore.

For a little while I thought maybe George had lost more than his nose-ring. Then I saw him interview Iggy, and then Charles McVety and I regained a little faith. I will continue to watch Gemini-award-winning George. He makes me laugh and he interviews interesting people.

Thanks for dropping by.

Peace out peeps,